Everyone’s a Critic

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“Mom, What’s wrong with her face?” asks my 10 year old, L.

“What do you mean?  I don’t see anything wrong with her face,” I say.

“Exactly.  That’s what I mean.  It’s too perfect.  It doesn’t look real.”

“How so?”

“Well, why is she so white?”

“She’s a redhead.  Redheads are very fair.”

“And why is she so, like, shiny and smooth.  She looks like she’s made out of marble.”

“I don’t know.  She’s an actress.  Maybe she’s had some work done.”

“What do you mean, work?”

“Maybe Botox or plastic surgery or something.  Or maybe she eats all the right food and drinks a lot of water and gets massages.”

“How old is she?  She looks young and old at the same time.”

“I think she’s 40.  That’s not so old.”

“It’s not so young either.  Shouldn’t she have some lines or something?  What is that necklace?  That looks kinda stupid.”

“I think a jeweler loaned it to her to wear just for tonight.  That thing is worth millions.”

“Ok, but it still looks stupid, doesn’t it?  Why is it so long?”

 “I don’t know, but she’s very famous and rich and she has people who help her dress.”

“WHAT??  She doesn’t know how to get dressed by herself?”

“Ugh, don’t be silly, of course she does.  She has a stylist who helps her pick stuff out.  The dress and jewelry.  And someone does her makeup and hair.”

“You think she paid someone to do her hair like THAT?”

“What’s wrong with her hair?”

“I don’t like it.  It’s kind of flat on the one side and just looks kind of blah.  It should be fancier or something, shouldn’t it?”

 “I think it looks alright.  She’s beautiful.”

“Hmph.  I guess.” 

15 Responses

  1. Too funny — out of the mouth of babes! I just read in US magazine that the average woman (by average I mean film star!) spends almost $15K to get “ready” for the Oscars.

  2. Hilarious! And, I tend to agree that she does look a little TOO perfect. But still lovely! And, don’t forget, she has that GLOW of pregnancy.

  3. Actually … I kind of agree with your daughter.🙂

  4. May be your daughter is seeing some of her character in the golden compass in her….has she read the books by Pullman?

  5. How funny! Kids are so honest with their thoughts!! lol

  6. Hi, thanks for the comments!

    Julie, $15K! That’s wacky.

    Care, Totally agree.

    Book Mama, I do too! I was trying to be non-judgmental and find out what she thought without sharing what I thought.

    Magik, my kids have not seen the movie or read the books. We saw the preview but it was a while ago and I don’t think my daughter made the connection.

  7. Lisa (sorry, how did I miss you?), You are so right. They are honest and have no internal editing skills to speak of!!

  8. Wow, that was really funny. I’m going to share this with my husband when he gets home!

  9. Very astute comments!

  10. Perfect voice to what most people think, yet few have said. Yes, yes, and yes–truer words have not been spoken. Doncha wish she’d let it all RELAX a bit?
    🙂

  11. That’s funny, Nicole K. has always looked like that though hasn’t she? I am happy for her, that she’s preggers now and is having a healthy pregnancy so far:)

  12. I think it’s great. It shows that you’ve taught her to deconstruct beauty and make her own assessment of what it is and what it isn’t.

  13. i found you via the tbr challenge! kids are a hoot.

    a friend and i just started a book lovers message board. we’d love for you to join!

    eden
    http://www.re-told.net

  14. HILARIOUS!!! I actually e-mailed a friend during the Oscars to say exactly what your 10-year old said: I can’t believe these people PAY stylists to dress them! I was really disappointed this year. The other main thing was how all the women looked like anorexic boys. It was the weirdest thing to me. Whatever happened to curves and glamour?

  15. Very insightful kiddo you have there.🙂

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