My bud Trish posted about Festivus, which is kicked off with the Airing of Grievances. She states that blog traffic is down, presumably due to the holidays, so she encourages anyone reading to freely say whatever you want- air those holiday grievances, because no one is reading anyway!
So in the spirit of Festivus, an alternative holiday in response to the commercialization of Christmas, I am sharing mine.
1. My stupid husband threw out his stupid back. It’s not like he was a big help with Christmas or the house to begin with, but NOW he needs to be waited on and rubbed. Like I don’t have enough to do.
2. Ungrateful children. I busted my ASS giving my kid a super duper special birthday weekend, and do you know what she said to me today when I asked her to make her bed?? She said, “WHY?” I said, because it’s your room and your bed. And she said, “But it’s YOUR job!” Nice, huh? Spoiled brat!
3. Costco shoppers who leave their 3 foot wide shopping carts in the parking space of a lot that is COMPLETELY FULL, 3 days before Christmas. I know THEY are in much too big a hurry and can’t be bothered to move the cart, but now if I want to park my car I have to get out, move the cart, and then get back in before I can pull into the space. And I might be in a hurry too, you moron!!!
4. Friends who continue giving every member of your family a Christmas gift long after the friendship has fizzled out. I haven’t even seen this friend in person since she moved away 6 years ago- we don’t call each other and rarely even email- and yet the annual package arrived on my doorstep today. Now I need to scramble to overnight something to her tomorrow. We should really be Christmas card exchanging friends, not gift exchanging friends.
5. Insurance companies who take a week to approve a medical procedure for a kid whose doctor has labeled the request Urgent. Approve the damn thing so I can enjoy the holidays, and sleep at night!!
6. My successful globe trotting brother, who would rather spend Christmas taking his girlfriend to a tropical island than spend the holiday with the family. Maybe I’m just jealous.
7. People who use the speaker feature on their cell phones in public places. Or in my house. Or in my car. (My husband does this all the time and I hate it).
8. Children who play musical instruments and insist on practicing in the kitchen or living room- wherever I happen to be. (Of course you sound great, honey, but Go to your own room! And close the door!)
9. A man who’s only holiday responsibility is to buy his own mother and his wife a gift. And he can’t figure out how to do it. And he won’t even go look until Christmas Eve.
10. The 5 pounds I’m sure I’ve gained in the last 2 weeks. And the 5 more I’ll pick up in the next week or so.
What’s bugging you this holiday season? Don’t tell me how wonderful everything is, how joyous and blessed you are. Give me the dirt. Don’t forget- no one is reading.