Happy Festivus, one and all!

My bud Trish posted about Festivus, which is kicked off with the Airing of Grievances.  She states that blog traffic is down, presumably due to the holidays, so she encourages anyone reading to freely say whatever you want- air those holiday grievances, because no one is reading anyway!

So in the spirit of Festivus, an alternative holiday in response to the commercialization of Christmas, I am sharing mine.  

 1. My stupid husband threw out his stupid back. It’s not like he was a big help with Christmas or the house to begin with, but NOW he needs to be waited on and rubbed. Like I don’t have enough to do.

2. Ungrateful children. I busted my ASS giving my kid a super duper special birthday weekend, and do you know what she said to me today when I asked her to make her bed?? She said, “WHY?” I said, because it’s your room and your bed. And she said, “But it’s YOUR job!” Nice, huh? Spoiled brat!

3. Costco shoppers who leave their 3 foot wide shopping carts in the parking space of a lot that is COMPLETELY FULL, 3 days before Christmas. I know THEY are in much too big a hurry and can’t be bothered to move the cart, but now if I want to park my car I have to get out, move the cart, and then get back in before I can pull into the space. And I might be in a hurry too, you moron!!!

4. Friends who continue giving every member of your family a Christmas gift long after the friendship has fizzled out. I haven’t even seen this friend in person since she moved away 6 years ago- we don’t call each other and rarely even email- and yet the annual package arrived on my doorstep today. Now I need to scramble to overnight something to her tomorrow. We should really be Christmas card exchanging friends, not gift exchanging friends.

5. Insurance companies who take a week to approve a medical procedure for a kid whose doctor has labeled the request Urgent. Approve the damn thing so I can enjoy the holidays, and sleep at night!!

6. My successful globe trotting brother, who would rather spend Christmas taking his girlfriend to a tropical island than spend the holiday with the family. Maybe I’m just jealous.

7. People who use the speaker feature on their cell phones in public places. Or in my house. Or in my car. (My husband does this all the time and I hate it).

8. Children who play musical instruments and insist on practicing in the kitchen or living room- wherever I happen to be. (Of course you sound great, honey, but Go to your own room! And close the door!)

9. A man who’s only holiday responsibility is to buy his own mother and his wife a gift. And he can’t figure out how to do it. And he won’t even go look until Christmas Eve.

10. The 5 pounds I’m sure I’ve gained in the last 2 weeks.  And the 5 more I’ll pick up in the next week or so.

What’s bugging you this holiday season?  Don’t tell me how wonderful everything is, how joyous and blessed you are.  Give me the dirt.  Don’t forget- no one is reading.

21 Responses

  1. My car battery died on the way to a Christmas party Sunday. (It later turned out to be the alternator.) When I managed to get home, three jumps and a tow later, and called to say I wouldn’t be going to the party, the stranger to me who answered the phone made fun of me as though I was just giving some lame excuse.

    How mean is that???? 😉

  2. Oh my Gwaa! I never knew you had this in you! 🙂 I laughed out loud reading this – not that you care because you don’t think I’m reading. Thanks a lot. I’m going to have to come up with a list and post myself. One little tidbit I’ll leave here in case one of my co-workers is reading my blog – which she’s not because NO ONE is, I absolutely hate it when people make their work grumbles everyone’s work grumbles by talking to themselves, asking me rhetorical questions, coming into my cube to do a play by play of things I already couldn’t avoid in real time. I’d like to get some freaking work done myself, b#tch! Happy Festivus.

  3. OOOH! NICE. I would absolutely post something like this on my blog, except that the very people I would not want to read it will most assuredly still be checking my blog. I will say though that I can definitely relate to several of your irritants. Several. Ugh. I hope you are still able to have Merry Christmas, er, Happy Festivus.

  4. Augh, the ungrateful child is so mine. She won’t do the simplest thing I ask without whining or screaming WHY DO I HAVE TO yet when she wants something from me it’s instant demands and tantrums if I don’t comply right away. She’s only four. I shudder to think what it will be like when she’s a teenager.

  5. I had a friend who kept sending gifts like that and I finally had enough and quit reciprocating and that ended that. It sounds like there’s a male in your life with a gift giving disability. It can be tough to live with.

  6. 1. Wal Mart- I live in the sticks and so unless I want to drive 90 mins. to civilization it is all I have. The powers that be have determined that they need to close the electronics department at 9:30 pm. I have a house full of men and all they want is behind that roped off section. Of course they say they will help you in that department after 9:30, but finding someone to help you is nearly impossible. I think they have a course on how to act dumb and not make eye contact with the customer.
    2. Wal Mart- The door greeter that has to check over my receipt even after he watched me check out 10 feet away from me. Some days I just wanted to run out of the store with my cart and receipt and see if he chases me.
    3. My ex-husband-Our oldest son is 18 and my ex’s girlfriend has decided that since he is adopted by my ex that he is not his real son so he does not have to spend time or $$ on him like his “real” children. Boy would I just love to hit her upside the head with the Yule log.

    My Christmas is really low stress. The only stressful part is every year I make my husband take me to dinner and Christmas shopping in Kansas City on Christmas Eve. It is how I get back at him for a whole year of terrible driving.

    Happy Festivus to All!

  7. I love ranting posts. They always make me feel better to say what’s on my mind and I always feel better reading other people’s rants. That’s why I rant with regularity. 😉

    Happy Festivus!

  8. […] Trish & Lisa both posted about Festivus, which is kicked off with the Airing of Grievances.  Trish states that […]

  9. Ditto on #9. And that excuse they use about being too busy? Pfft…just get your ass out there and do it!

  10. This is terrible, but the thing that’s bugging me most is having to spend time with my family instead of being able to play World of Warcraft and read and blog and do all those other totally selfish and solitary things that I enjoy so much.

    I figure that by the time I’m 60, I’ll be living in almost total solitude. Will I get lonely? Nah!!!

  11. First, I want to comment on your grievances:

    #2 HAHAHA!! It’s your job to make your daughter’s bed? I think I would have hit the roof with that one.

    #3 Costco shoppers can definitely be lame. Ditto on that one.

    #6 Totally get it. Dave’s dad and stepmom are going to be in Germany for Christmas…and every year, instead of buying us gifts, they donate to some charity and say they’ve bought wheelchairs in our name. I guess we can’t be ungrateful since Dave has gotten three fishing vests from his dad for Christmas…and he doesn’t even fish.

    #7 YES! That reminded me of something similar that bugs me.

    Okay, on to additional things that drive me bonkers:

    1. People who wear so much perfume that you can smell it when you’re in the same room with them.

    2. I ride the bus to work and sometimes it gets crowded on the bus. Oftentimes people will put a backpack or purse in the seat next to them, but when the bus gets crowded and it’s clear some people will have to stand, the ones who’ve plunked their junk in the seat next to them won’t move it unless you look them in the eye and say, “May I sit there?” Seriously, people, the bus is packed, move your $%#@ so other people can sit down.

    3. Yesterday my husband said as he was walking out the door, “Just so you know, if you use the bathroom, there’s no toilet paper.” Why he couldn’t grab the next pack of TP from above the washer and dryer and put it in the bathroom, I’ll never know.

    4. When I cross the street in a crosswalk, it’s a JOKE trying to get cars to stop. I want the laws in California to change that cars must wait until the lights in the crosswalk stop blinking before they can continue driving.

    5. When someone’s cell phone rings in public, why do they pull out their cell phone, look at it, and let the ring continue to increase in volume? Everyone has a silent button, but few people seem to use it.

    Phew! Thanks! I’m feeling better already. 🙂

  12. About that “friend” that continues to send gifts, just stop sending her one back. That should end it. Also, my son is scheduled to have an unexpected surgery on Jan 5th so I hear ya on the insurance company and the approval thing. I hope your kid gets seen soon!

    I don’t know if it is an age thing or what, but I have no tolerance for fair weather friends. I have this one friend that is a complete Stepford mom. She never expresses any emotion and after years and years of being friends, I have grown and she has not. She doesn’t see the difference and we are now like oil and water yet she still believes we are friends. Really not so and it bugs me to no end.

    The other thing that bugs are people using their cells in the bathroom stall. Why? Why I ask?

  13. Oh, good. I’m not the only one with holiday gripes.

    CB, it’s not like you were trying to get out of work or something!! That’s very bizarre and yes, mean!

    Jen, oh I hate those kind of people!!

    Lyndsey, Merry Happy Festive Christmas to you and your beautiful family!!

    Jeane, let me just tell you, it will be worse!! My kids did that at 4 too and now they are 10 and 11. Ugh. And the demands- do you know how many times I say, “What’s the magic word???” on a daily basis, as they roll their eyes and say “ok, PLEASE can you do it?” It’s annoying.

    Kathy, I stopped acknowledging birthdays a few years ago, because it was stupid- she would miss my birthday but then send me a belated gift just before her own birthday. I haven’t sent a bday gift in 4 or 5 years. I did stop Christmas gifts one year, but then she called me a day or two after Christmas wanting to make sure nothing was wrong, wanting to make sure we received her package, and did we like everything, and I just felt like such a witch that I made up an excuse and told her my gift was on the way. Yes, I’m a wimp.

    Shelle- ugh the WalMart greeter/ receipt checker!! They have that at Costco too and I always forget to keep my receipt out, then I hold up the line rooting around in my purse for it. Oh, sorry to hear SP is being an asshat. Merry Christmas to you and the boys.

    Trishaj, Happy Festivus to you and yours!

    Jill, my thoughts EXACTLY. If he goes shopping Christmas eve morning rather than afternoon, he thinks he’s going “early”. He just picks up random picked-over stuff to give me and I end up returning all of it- that is if he can find the receipts. He really does have a gift giving disability.

    Char, oh boy do I understand!!! I’m a selfish solitary person at heart, too.

    Trish, thanks for the inspiration! I”m with you on the perfume wearers. It’s so offensive when it’s applied so heavily that it makes your eyes water and you can almost taste it. The TP thing- ah to be a young newlywed. That is just the tip of the annoying marital iceburg, my friend. At least he’s considerate enough to mention it to you before you’re sitting there and have to choose to drip dry or use a bath towel.

    Ti, I’m sorry to hear about your son’s upcoming surgery. I hope it’s nothing too serious. Dealing with insurance companies can be maddening. Oh, and I totally understand about your ‘friend’. My gosh, I have one like that. I’ve decided there just isn’t that much depth to her. We never talk about anything real or personal, even after 8 or 9 years of friendship, and yet we continue to be ‘fake friends’. I’m not sure why but it’s hard to end it when there’s no ‘incident’.

    Wow, reading this back it’s a wonder I have any friends at all, isn’t it???

    Thanks for airing all your grievances!! It feels good to purge.

    Happy Festivus!

  14. 1. My bickering and fighting twins who won’t STOP. I can’t take Dee anymore. What should I do? I swear, I want to take her presents away.

    2. Wrapping presents. I hate it. It seems like such a waste of time. The twins just rip it off and don’t even care. It kills trees and ruins my mood.

    3. This stupid ass economy and the news perpetually reminding me that the state is most likely going to go bankrupt. What?

    4. Did I say Dee?

    5. My dumb ass sister, who I haven’t heard from in over 4 years sending me a christmas card with a picture of my niece and nephew who I haven’t seen in over 5 years…. it really messed with my head.

    6. Having to figure out what to make for the holiday cook-off.

    7. Having to work today.

    8. My cell phone is broken, AGAIN.

    I’m sorry about your hubby’s back and that K’s knee issue isn’t worked out, yet. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.


  15. What’s bugging me? Nothing. And I am very pleased to be able to write that.

    Hope your husband’s back and child’s med issue are improving. And about the friend who gifts instead of cards. Just send a card this year. A big hint is sometimes necessary.

    Merry Christmas!

  16. Lisa, I think husbands are the same the world over! Probably kids are too, but I don’t have any so I can’t speak from experience (though I do have seven nieces & nephews and they can be outrageously bratty!)

    Merry Christmas!

  17. My husband screwed his back up, too.

    Christmas with the in-laws just isn’t very…festive. Ever. I need cocktails and there aren’t any.

    My daughter is complaining about having too much stuff. Ahhhh!

    That feels better! So glad no one is reading.

  18. I didn’t officially air my grievances (should’ve), but I did reply to a friend’s Christmas text with “Merry Damn Christmas.” I think that’s solidly in the Festivus vein. 😀

  19. Lisa – our husbands sound a lot alike 🙂

    I was thinking the same thing about Trish – at least he TOLD her!!!

  20. Oh good grief- I gotta think about this one. I am so sugared out and distracted from all the holiday-ing. Oh yeah, and on a coffee buzz this a.m., too. I just want to say I love your list. And your honesty. Tempered with humor, though. Nice stuff!

  21. I’m a bit late, but if you read my blog, you’ll know why. I developed pneumonia right before Christmas. Actually, I developed it right before my birthday, which is right before Christmas, so trying to get everything done for the holiday was a Herculean effort, and I had to rely and teenagers and a husband who hates holidays! Bah, Humbug, I say!

    Kim J.

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