Feel My Butt

Conversation on the way up to bed after American Idol last night-

K:  Mom!  Mom!  Feel my butt!

Me:  Excuse me?

K:  You have to feel my butt!

Me:  Why?  What’s wrong with your butt?

K:  It’s hard!  Really really hard!

Me:  What do you mean?

K:  Just feel it!

Me: (feeling her butt)  Wow!  It’s like marble!  Have you been working out?  Doing lunges on the playground at recess?

K:  (giggles)  No, just the usual stuff.  Climbing on the playset and playing tetherball and stuff like that.

Me:  Well whatever you’re doing, it’s working.  You’ve got Buns of Steel!

K:  Let me feel your butt!

Me:  WHAT?  No, really, that’s ok..

K:  Just let me feel it!  Turn around..

Me:  Well wait ’til I clench up..

K:  It’s not hard!  It’s jiggly!

Me:  I wasn’t ready!  I wasn’t clenching!

K:  Dad, come feel my butt and Mom’s butt!

Dad:  What??!!

K:  I’ve got Buns of Steel, and Mom’s got Buns of Jello!

21 Responses

  1. This made me laugh out loud…!! Too funny…

  2. Too funny! They tell it like it is, don’t they? 😉


  3. kids say the darnest things, I tell ya.

  4. I vaguely remember having a similar conversation with my mom when I was a young-un… I guess she was right when she warned me about being on the other side of things when I grew up. 🙂

  5. Recent conversation at our house:

    Hubby: Kiddo, you have a lemon butt! Look honey, kiddo’s but is like a little lemon!

    Me: Yep, you’re right, kiddo’s butt IS like a little lemon. But he’s just as skinny as you are, so it figures – you’ve got a coconut butt, he’s got a lemon butt.

    Kiddo: And mom’s got a … hmmm … she’s got a watermelon butt.

    [Kiddo’s comment was said in all seriousness and was not meant to be funny … but I was laughing my big ole watermelon butt off all the same!]

  6. I could totally picture you guys standing there feeling each others butts.

    Don’t feel bad though, my 5-year-old told me the other day that there is supposed to be a space between my thighs when I stand. She even showed me the space she has when she stands. Then I quickly had a flashback of Olivia Newton John in that last scene of Grease when I finally realized that there WAS supposed to be a space there. Like I’d wear shiny, spandex pants anyway.

  7. This was too funny. I saw the heading and could not wait to read the rest…LOL

  8. Isn’t it great to have daughters??????

  9. Good think I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that. Out of the mouths of babes! I’ve had similar experiences with my daughter. Here’s one.

    Hubby: You do everything Mommy does. You want to be just like her right?

    The Girl: But if I’m going to look just like her, I better start eating right now.

    You should’ve seen the steam coming out of my ears when hubby started laughing. LOL

    Diary of an Eccentric

  10. Good thing I meant to say. To think I’m an editor! LOL


  11. Then I must have buns of applesauce! Hee Hee.

    Not fair! She didn’t give you time to clench!

  12. LOOLLLL!!!! Sounds like any of a number of odd conversations that happen in my house on a regular basis.

  13. Oh no she didn’t!

    Daughters always tell it like it is:)

  14. Bwahahahahahahaha……

    My daughter once asked my mom why her skin was so papery. Kids just have no tact. 🙂

  15. Too funny!!!!

  16. That last line is too much!

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