The Scene: Monday night, 9:30 pm, after nearly 4 hours of reminding, suggesting, encouraging, pleading, yelling, and demanding that my 7th grader finish her homework.
Me (yelling up the stairs): L., are you finished with your homework yet?
Me: Your homework.. is it done?
L.: (garbled) (something something something) done.
L.: I SAID (something something something) done.
Me: WHAT? I can’t hear you. I’m coming up.
L.: YOU DON’T HAVE TO COME UP!
I go up. L. is on her bed, painting her nails.
Me: Honey, it’s time for bed.
L.: But I still have to do my math.
Me: What?? I thought you said your homework was done.
L.: No, I said I only have one more thing and then it’s done.
Me: Well it sounded like you said it was done. So if it’s not done, why are you painting your nails?
L.: Because I want them to match my neon green jeans I’m wearing tomorrow.
Me (steam coming out of my ears but trying to be patient): Ok, but you should have done your homework first.
L.: Mom, chill. I’m just taking a break. I only have math left. Everything else is done.
Me: Everything? How many math problems do you have? And did you study for your science test?
L.: 1 thru 33, but they’re easy. And I don’t have to study. I know everything.
Me.: Everything, huh?
L.: You know what I mean!
Me: Ok, your math. Even if each problem takes only two minutes, we’re talking over an hour. Get started! You have to go to bed!
L.: But I can’t get started!
Me: Why not?
L.: My nails are wet!