1. Late at night, announce that you must wear your cheer uniform to school the next day for pictures. Be sure the uniform has been worn for two days straight, has a mustard stain on the front, and is crumpled in a ball under your bed.
2. Play the song Tick Tock on high volume 500 times in a row.
3. After your shower each morning, leave your wet towel on your bed. Don’t forget to leave your pajamas on the bathroom floor, preferably in a puddle of water.
4. Offer to help your sister do something, than complain, scream, and cry when she doesn’t want your help. Slam your door. Refuse to come out of your room. Stomp around.
5. Spend two hours working on 4 math problems. Tap your pencil repeatedly. Sigh heavily. Get up to find an eraser and get mad when you can’t find the one shaped like a dog. Doodle. Whine. Sigh some more. Beg for a break and snacks.
6. Save all the REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF THAT CANNOT WAIT for when mom gets on the phone. Interrupt at least 3 or 4 times per phone call.
7. Don’t clean your guinea pig’s cage for a month, until the smell is overwhelming and no one can get near your bedroom without a gas mask. Ditto for the frog’s aquarium.
8. Take up tap dancing. Practice a lot. This will work best if you have wood or tile floors. If you can practice your cheers while tap dancing.. even better.
9. Ask for a hard-to-find brand of shoes. Beg for them every chance you get. Be sure to tell your mom that everybody has them. Negotiate and make a bunch of deals until she breaks down and goes to three different stores to find them. Decide after wearing them twice that you don’t really like them that much after all. Announce that you only wanted them because your friends had them and you didn’t really like them in the first place. Duck and run when Mom’s face starts to turn purple.