Parenting is a process, and when we know more, we can do a better job. Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me: Preventing or Reversing Entitlement in Your Child’s Attitude by Donna Corwin is a book I wish I’d had 10 years ago (for the preventing part) but thankfully, according to Corwin, it’s not too late for the reversing part.
Often I’ve wondered why my kids expect “stuff” without having to earn it. Why they think they deserve to get every new thing that comes out and why they think it’s so unfair when their demands aren’t met immediately. In short, we’ve created little monsters and contributed to their feelings of entitlement by offering too much praise (over inflating their little egos) rather than encouragement (contributing to more healthy self esteem) and by overindulging them instead of delaying their gratification. The blame lies squarely on my shoulders (and my husband’s) and this book has opened my eyes.
Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me is all about setting limits and discovering your parenting goals and priorities. It’s about teaching responsibility, about giving real attention, about showing our kids the true meaning of love (and that it can’t be bought). It’s about supporting your kids but not rushing to fix everything for them, about letting them find their own solutions and solve their own problems. It’s about taking back control and not allowing your children to suck in all the advertising and media images they are bombarded with on a regular basis, about teaching them about money and morals and manners and how to be charitable. The book showed me the reasons why I’ve behaved a certain way (rebelling against my own parents’ parenting style) and how I can turn it around. All in all, this was exactly the reality check I needed.
This book is full of really valuable information and useful advice. If you are a parent with kids who feel like they are owed the world just because they live and breathe, please do everybody a favor and get this book!
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